


through it all

by wishuweresober



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Coming Out, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Love Confessions, M/M, Second Kiss, Zalex, this is what should have happened after the boat scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25400542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishuweresober/pseuds/wishuweresober
Summary: zach’s hands hold alex so delicately and suddenly, things are starting to make more sense. he pulls away just a little bit, but his hands still remain on alex’s back. without needing to think anymore, he leans in and kisses alex for the second time in their friendship.it only lasts a few seconds, at least, zach thinks so, before alex quickly pulls away and his hand falls off of zach’s back. he scoots a bit backwards, an incredulous look in his eyes.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	through it all

alex was flat on his back, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. zach was still in shock from the fact that alex had almost died (again), laughing in disbelief. “holy shit! alex, you almost died!” he’s still laughing, covering his face with both hands.

he turns his head when alex doesn’t reply, seeing nothing but alex breathing heavily with a strained look on his face and his hand on his chest. “yo, are you with me or what? talk to me, come on! what the fuck is happening, man?”

zach’s entire body is soaked, but he ignores the discomfort. he stays staring at alex until the shorter boy starts to turn to sit himself up, making distressed noises.

“shit is so fucked up...” alex says brokenly, learning on his arm. he’s quiet after that and zach gives a confused look. 

”yeah, no shit...” he sighs, continuing to face alex. all alex can do it breathe in an uneven matter before he turns his head and meets zach’s eyes. they stare at each other for a few seconds and zach’s starting to feel an overwhelming rush of emotions.

alex looks at him the same way he did on the rooftop a few days after winter break. the same way he did after zach saved his life the first time. the same way he did before he kissed the jock. 

there’s just a lot to be thought about. zach would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about that night on repeat. both he and alex seemed to just have moved on after he let alex down lightly. they had hung out the rest of the night like it never happened and now zach’s starting to wonder if he ever really moved on from it.

with alex looking at him that same way, part of him wants to think that alex hasn’t really moved on from it either.

he doesn’t know what compels him to do so but he leans forward and pulls alex into a tight hug, both of his arms enveloping the smaller boy entirely. it’s only a few seconds before he feels alex shift and then hug him back with one arm, the other balancing himself on the sand.

the silence between both of them is extremely evident and it would normally be awkward, but it’s them and it feels right. 

zach’s hands hold alex so delicately and suddenly, things are starting to make more sense. he pulls away just a little bit, but his hands still remain on alex’s back. without needing to think anymore, he leans in and kisses alex for the second time in their friendship.

it only lasts a few seconds, at least, zach thinks so, before alex quickly pulls away and his hand falls off of zach’s back. he scoots a bit backwards, an incredulous look in his eyes.

when alex pulls away, zach’s arms drop and now they’re just staring at each other yet again. 

“...alex, i-“

“what the FUCK, zach??” alex’s face is a bright red and he’s beyond shocked. “why would you....what was THAT for?”

there were a number of outcomes that zach had pictured could happen, but he never imagined that alex would be angry. maybe he was selfish for thinking that alex wouldn’t react this strongly. 

“alex...i thought that-“

“what? you thought that you could just change your mind real quick and kiss me because you were feeling impulsive? fuck you, zach!” alex sighs and turns his body, running a hand over his face.

zach shakes his head, and he wants to calm alex down before anything but he’s kind of the reason alex is freaking out so he tries to explain. “it wasn’t impulse, alex! i just...”

alex quickly turns his head again , and there was a new emotion that zach couldn’t quite put his finger on. “just what? you want to fucking embarrass me after i tried forgetting about that night? ‘oh, let me kiss him again because i know he still likes me just so i can go and act like it never happened!’”

“fuck you, alex! it’s not like that, okay? you think i would mess with you like that? i’m not like that, and you know it. i... i shouldn’t have gone so long without saying something.” there’s a lot on the line here, zach thinks, and he hasn’t felt this vulnerable with the brunette before now.

alex is facing zach now and he looks at him in disbelief. “one - you’re not the one who gets to be mad - you kissed me! and two - what the fuck do you mean?”

zach chews at his bottom lip for a second, and contemplates just being an asshole and dropping the conversation, but he can’t. not when alex looks at him like that. 

“look, alex. i’m gonna talk and i just need you to listen. please.” he looks at alex in the eyes and alex looks skeptical, but he nods slowly after a few seconds. 

“that night, when you kissed me, i said i wasn’t into guys. and up until then, i genuinely didn’t think i was. i mean...i didn’t realize that i was. but i’m into you, more than into you. and i’m so fucking stupid for not realizing that there were feelings there before the rooftop. i think...i think i just mistook my how i felt for wanting to protect you when you came back, but the truth is, i think fell a long time ago.

“i shouldn’t have told you that i wasn’t into guys. i shouldn’t have made you spend the rest of the night with me pretending like nothing happened. i shouldn’t have avoided talking about it and i shouldn’t have waited for you to make the first move. i should’ve done something a long time ago when i first started feeling different about you. and i know it’s unfair of me to act on those feelings now...but...”

alex looked absolutely dumbfounded now. his eyebrows were furrowed, as if he were trying to take in everything the taller male had said all at once. right as zach was about to finish his sentence, alex all but leaps forward and closes the gap yet again.

one of his hands holds zach’s shoulder lightly while his other hand slides through zach’s drenched hair. almost immediately, zach’s hands are back on alex’s back, and any sort of remaining anger and nervousness disappeared.

alex slowly pulls away to catch his breath, and zach goes to chase his lips. the hand in zach’s hair slides down to his face and alex sort of just holds him for a second before he leans in, pressing his forehead to the male’s in front of him.

“i wanna be with you.” zach says quietly. “and i know, like you said, shit’s so unbelievably fucked up right now. but you...you’re not. you’re not fucked up.”

alex brings his head back so that they’re sitting normally again. he’s feeling overwhelmed with that same emotion he felt on the rooftop. “well, i mean, i’m kind of fucked up.” he laughs, even though it’s not that funny, and zach does too. “but i wanna be with you, too. i think i made that kinda clear a month or so, though.”

“yeah,” zach says, and he calmly lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “and i’m sorry to have once again played the dumb guy who finally caught up and realized everything that was happening super late.” he half smiles, and he can hardly believe that he’s able to say these things to the brunette. 

“i’m sorry for freaking out and getting mad at you. that...” alex pauses, shaking his head. “it wasn’t fair of me to react like that and you’ve been so patient with me. thank you, zach. i-“ he stops himself from finishing the sentence. he doesn’t know if it’s too sudden, especially considering this entire situation has only been going on for about five minutes.

but they’ve been friends through fucking everything. through the tapes, the trials. through the PT - both the good and bad days - and homecoming night. they’ve been through covering up a goddamn murder and the after effects of it. and now, through whatever this would turn out to be. so fuck it.

“i love you.” he says with no regret. 

reaching out to hold alex’s hand tightly, zach smiles, not looking away from the other’s eyes.

“i love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> this sucked tbh, but don’t bully me i’m new here 🙈


End file.
